i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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