Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
