dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
