i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
