I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
