as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
