I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
