You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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