I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
