Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I need a burrito and a hug.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
