Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
