Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
