just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
