Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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