wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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