is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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