Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
