Swine flu. Run for my life!
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
