of course. lets lasso hookers.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
