I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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