two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
