She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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