i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
