i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
