Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
