You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
