He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
