I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
