I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
