Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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