i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
