Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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