Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
