I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
