Pregnant stripper...not hot.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
