I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
