i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
