I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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