the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
