Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
