I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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