i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
