At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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