You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
