Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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