My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
