I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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