i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
