Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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