so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Banned from zoo.
Again?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
