he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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