I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
