i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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