Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
