Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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