We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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