Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize