He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
