we made out on top of his cat.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
