I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
