I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
