Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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