i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
